Hello, My name is Jessica Chiarella and I am 19 years old and live in New York. I wrote this poem, I am only one person as a part of a project my senior year in high school. I have been writing poetry for several years.

I am only one person

I am only one person
But I am sure you already know that
I am 18 years of knowledge and survival skills all rolled up into one.
I am a human egg roll,
Filled with different emotions and substances.

I have two cats.
I remember the day we brought my second cat home,
I was manning my battle station,
I had a water gun, but I was the commander of an elite fleet
I had control, not over my cat.

I want you to accept me for me,
I am not one of the magazine girl's
My waist isn't a size negative two and neither is the rest of the populations
I like to eat food, slimy greasy stuff sometimes.
Food that will make me fat.

Back in the day when I was little,
I went to the mall with my parents
I don't remember why but I did end up swimming in the fountain.
I laugh about it now, but I know I didn't back then.

I tried to understand physics my senior year,
Yet no matter how hard I tried,
It was a language that was so foreign to me.

I wish in the future that I could be perfect.
Would being perfect make me happy?
I wonder: what is perfect?
I see other people in the school and the world
They seem like they have it all together and they are perfect,
Are they happy?

I tried to be perfect once and it only led to melt down of my inner core.
Yes, I admit, I thought about ending the life I was leading.
I thought that it would solve my problems,
Yet, it only created more than I had hoped for.
I remember asking my mom that if something happened to me,
Would there be a lot of people at my funeral?
She looked at me weird and smiled, "you know we would miss you"
I guess that's all I needed.

Through out my life, I have seen the greatest minds of my generation
destroyed by madness, drugs, sex, and rock and roll.
I too, have fell victim to the 90's version of my parent's bellbottoms and
All except the Barbie warfare of the manufacturers.
I hate Barbie's, love GI Joe, and He-man.

I want to grow up and be happy,
Be what I want,
Not some irresponsible dream that never took flight from my imagination.

I like to dream, use my noggin to think up silly dreams,
Horrible nightmares,
And wonderful thoughts.
Sometimes, though, I try to figure out the world's problems,
They don't make anymore sense after a beer either.

Looking at rainbows is something that I like,
I hope to find the pot of smiles, wherever it is.

I never had a liking for golf,
It took way too much concentration for this person.

I am only one person,
But I am sure you already know that.
I dreamed once of being a goddess,
Like the ones of old,
It didn't work,
Because I could never find a pedestal.

I hate Brittany Spears,
She makes me ill,
Just like the little girls in school
Who dress up like her.

I saw a friend stabbed in 8th grade and it scared me, a lot.
I came to the conclusion that no one in Newtown will ever be faced with
something like that,
God how ironic is that?
I watched him stand there,
Then I saw him drop to the ground,
Why? Why? Why?
Why him? Why did I have to see that?

I ask god that sometimes,
But I guess he doesn't answer because I never go to church anymore.
I used to honestly believe that there was some great force,
Something that determined what would happen to everyone.
Yet, if that's true, what went wrong?

I see people talking to each other everyday,
However, they don't seem that interested in who they are talking to,
Or how long it took to shampoo their dog.

I come to a point in my life where, in some scary way, everything makes a
little bit of sense.
I finally realized why my parents jump on my back,
Why my friends act so silly sometimes,
Why I cry, scream, pout, moan, smile, laugh,
Why the world won't accept me for me,
And why the sky is blue.
It finally made sense.

Sometimes I wish that I could sleep with my rainbow brite sheets,
And scare away the mean things in life,
It worked when I was four.

But in the end,
I am only one person,
And I guess you already knew that.

Copyright 1999 by Jessica Chiarella

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